Accessories and Jewelry

They can make a simple black dress breathtakingly sophisticated. Think about Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) in that beginning scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s… what would that black dress be without those lovely pearls, the tiara barrette in her perfectly coiffed hair, or those fabulous opera gloves? Just a sheath dress in black. They can instantly take a v-neck tee and khaki capris from backyard to date night with a few lobster clasps.

Accessories. Since Cleopatra’s time women have been adorning themselves with jewels and trinkets to enhance their ensemble. And they change with the tide, but a few key pieces will translate well regardless of what’s coming out of Paris or New York this season.

1.  A simple strand of pearls. They don’t have to be real, just make sure they’re real good looking. Sometimes fake pearls are just plastic beads covered with a pearescent foil… this can chip off quite easily, sometimes with prolonged exposure to the moisture from your skin, body oils or lotions. Simulated pearls are more commonplace and last a bit longer. And good places to get quality costume jewelry is QVC.com, HSN.com, or a big box store.

2.  A nice pair of stud earrings. These don’t go below your earlobe, and you can wear them any time, with anything. The traditional choice- diamond (or nice looking CZ). Don’t take this to rap star level (extra large), it’s not ideal.

3.  A simple pair of hoops. Mayonnaise jar hoops are still gauche, but it’s your choice if you want silver or gold. (See NOTE below about how to choose silver or gold.)

4.  A nice cocktail / “right hand” ring. This is a nice looking ring that might be a tiny bit more flashy than your wedding/engagement ring(s), hence worn on the right hand. Rings are always personal choice. Some people get irritated by wearing them, and they’re not as noticeable as a necklace or earrings, so if you really don’t like them, you can skip wearing them.

5.  Statement jewelry. This is where you’d have a piece or two that states who you are or what your outfit says. For Christians that so choose, it would be their cross. Trends like the toggle style necklace that Tiffany released a couple years ago, the diamond circle pendant, etc.

6.  Trendy pieces. With the 80s making a comeback lately, this is where you’d have your thick bangle bracelets with interesting designs, piles of jelly bracelets, etc. This should be the least amount in your jewelry wardrobe, because what’s in for 2009/2010 may be completely yuck in 2011.

A general rule of thumb- don’t try to pile on your jewels just because it’s what you have. And it’s along the same lines of makeup- big and attention-getting in one area and leave the rest simple. Big earrings, keep the necklace simple.

NOTE: How to choose if you’re a Silver or Gold person- hold something silvery or gray next to your skin (face or neck is usually easiest), and with the other hand, hold something gold or yellow/orange up. Whichever side of you looks more “lit” up, that’s what you are. I look best with silver, as I feel gold makes me look a little jaundice.

Stay tuned for Erin’s new fashion and beauty column next week, Fringe- purses, scarves and shoes.

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Eyebrow Threading

From Marlene Dietrich pencil-thins to Brook Shields’ Au Naturales (and back again), we all have personal preferences as to how we want our brows “done”. The newest way (to the local mall nail shop in your area, at least) to do that is through eyebrow threading.

The way a particular esthetician will set up their threads depends on the method they learned. Some are very ornate and theatrical while the service is being rendered. But the idea is the same.

Regular, cotton (in most cases) thread is made into a rounded rectangle shape, twisted into itself three or four times (forming two triangles), and depending on what your particular hand-dominance, is placed before each hair to be removed, the fingers in one loop opened, causing the wrapped part to literally tangle the hairs into the wraps, pulling them out.

Confused? I used the video below to figure it out for myself, instead of paying $7 or better to have them done by someone else (subscribers will have to click through to this article to watch the video).  Especially if it was supposed to be a particularly painful experience.

How to Thread Eyebrows Video

Personally, the jury is still out for me if I’d use threading or trusty ol’ razor stick from Sally’s. Threading is a cleaner technique… It’s must easier to plot out the shape of your brow, and less margin of error. However- the pain factor is great (more so than tweezers, in my opinion), especially if you accidentally catch some skin in the thread, as I did my first attempt.

A razor stick (most drug stores and Sally Beauty stores carry them) is economical, and to me, the least painful way to do brows. But you have to be much more careful with razors than tweezers or threading, or else you end up with brows a la Vanilla Ice.

The most important part is to do SOMETHING to your brows. If you wear not a smudge of makeup, your eyebrows being properly groomed is a very quick way to look better, and a little more put together.

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Summer Makeup for Moms

Summer’s started, and pretty much anywhere you live, you’re dealing with heat… put on top of that the collective thirty seconds you have to yourself as a mom (hello- two preschoolers!), and summer seems like the season you do without, put your hair in a ponytail (or claw clip) and away you go.

It doesn’t have to be that blah just because you’re a mom. I have five of my favorite, go-to products to keep you looking fresh, revived and with-it, and all within 5 minutes. I do have to say- you will notice I’m a big fan of mark. cosmetics. (I am not a representative, I just like the product). But I’ve given you some drug store alternatives for a get-it-right-now purchase.

5 Must Have Summer Makeup Products

1- mark. Get a Tint (appx $8.00). Truly beautiful for a quick pick me up for your skin without going crazy with coverage! I’d definitely put this on before any concealer you need. (I’ll explain later!)

Option- CG Smoothers. Always a favorite on my mecca website- makeupalley.com. I’d go a shade darker than you think you need on this one… it can make you look ashy if it’s too light.

1 ½ – mark. Good Riddance Hookup Concealer (appx $6.00 meetmark.com). If you have a non-sleeping 2 year old like I do, “Say haloh to my little frien’”. LOVE this stuff. And it’s a pencil that I have “hooked up” to my lip gloss. Can’t go wrong- they wedge right in that skinny little pocket in the diaper bag.

Application tip: if you need a LOT of coverage, ‘draw’ right on your areas and tap/smudge until it disappears into your skin. If you just need a little, draw a little bit on your RING finger and apply that way. The ring finger is the most seldom used finger on the hand, therefore the best for applying to the face- it’s less callused, and tends to be the cleanest.

The drug store favorite for me- Revlon New Complexion concealer.

2- mark. Good Glowing powder blush (appx $6.00 meetmark.com). Golden Glo and After Glo are the ones I use the most… and does well across the board with skin tones. Option- Jane mineral blush- I’ve used this on photoshoots. Colors do well across skin tones too. Also apply blush/bronzer in the crease of your eyelid. Instant eye shadow!

3- Physician’s Formula Lash in a Tube. Has been and always will be my favorite. Bad Gal Lash by Benefit was my favorite until I couldn’t afford it anymore. This product does the SAME thing, without the huge-gantic brush gimmick (yes, Benefit was the first!)… for summer, stick with the waterproof. Sweat or jumping into a pool will have you all Tammy-Fayed out. Not pretty!

4- Lip Gloss. No real recommendation on this one. I wouldn’t go too frosty on it, or you look too 60’s B-Movie Sci-Fi queen… just a little sheen, and stick to whatever looks closest to your bare lips… so you can do your lip gloss without looking in a mirror (especially in traffic!)

Next week- I get my eyebrows Threaded for the first time! It’s supposed to be less painful and longer lasting than plucking. We shall see!

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Basic Skin Care: Prep Your Canvas!

The biggest thing about makeup isn’t the actual cosmetic itself- it’s what’s under it. You can put the best foundation on, but if your skin is bad, your makeup will look bad too.

But you don’t have to go to the spa weekly for beautiful skin- a few simple steps twice a day will help keep that canvas ready.

Skin Cleansers

First- get a good cleanser. Good doesn’t always mean strongest. Truly oily skin is not just oily through the t-zone (forehead, nose, sides of nose and chin), but the entire facial surface. Sometimes with foundation, your makeup will take on an orange-y tint or seem to disappear by midday. For this, you need good astringent properties. Proactiv is a popular choice, but I hear good things with Clean and Clear’s new line also. Problem with Proactiv- it dries your skin out the minute you stop taking it.

For Normal/Combo Skin - (shiny/oily in the t-zone, but no real “issues” through the cheeks), this is when things get easy. You pretty much have pick of the litter as far as what you can use.

For Sensitive Skin- things get tricky. It seems like everything you put on yours skin burns or itches. A favorite (of mine and dermatologists alike) is Cetaphyl. It’s a gentle, non-detergent cleanser that I also use at photoshoots to remove makeup between looks. Great at removing waterproof mascara as well.

Exfoliating

No real need to buy an exfoliator – your regular cleanser and a soft washcloth does the trick. Once or twice a week, use the cloth in circles around the face, paying attention to the creases in the nose, along the brow, and on the chin line.

Skin Toner

The jury is still out about toner. Some people, especially with oilier skin will need additional astringent, but the majority of us don’t need it… clean skin is clean skin- why add a step?

Skin Moisturizer

Please please please- if you have any intention of wearing makeup- moisturize! It’s the biggest thing I ask my brides to do when they want makeup on their special day… especially if the bachelorette party entailed many a cosmo!  Makeup will change color, cake and “glop” together if the skin is flaky and dry. You can even put a few drops of your regular foundation into your moisturizer to make your own tinted moisturizer. And a note: night/day creams are a myth. I just wouldn’t recommend wearing an spf moisturizer to bed. But it won’t melt your face off either… so use your own judgment.

Lip and Eye Treatments

And last, but just as important- don’t forget your lips! A good (and cheap) treatment for exfoliation- a dime-sized dollop of Vaseline with 1/8 tsp sugar. Mix together, and apply to the lips in a circular motion. Remove with a damp cloth.

For your eyes, if you don’t have wrinkles unless you’re squinting, a small little dab of Vaseline at the outside corners of your eyes takes care of that. For more pronounced lines, I really like Lacura in the pink tube… or Hope In A Tube by Philosophy (a bit pricey, but SO worth it!). If you have dark, pronounced circles (some of the East Indian heritage, pregnant darker skintones, etc), anything with vitamin K. I like Jason Naturals K Crème Plus. There are also a lot of off-brands at your local health food store… look in the beauty section.

Taking care of your skin will pay for itself in about 8 weeks. It’s where you should invest the most money- drug store makeup will (for the most part) look just as good as the most expensive, if the skin is right.

Next week, Summer Makeup! My favorite time of year (for makeup anyway), because it’s the one that I use the least product…

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Some women are lucky enough to be taught all the necessary life skills from their parents.  If I dare to ask all the readers to chime in on that point, I’m going to guess that most of us weren’t in that lucky small group! 

Many of us mothers have to learn how to be a homemaker, parent and a wife from reading books, reading magazines, watching other people, and gaining our own experience that only comes with time.

It gave me great pain to hear the voice of “every woman” and “every mother” coming out through fellow blogger GrudgeMom today.  Here is a snippet of what I read:

“Am I a good enough mom, parent, wife? I’m constantly wondering and in my mind, I’m not.  You know when you were a JR in (highschool) and think the SRs are so smart and cool? That’s how I feel about some moms. I read what these moms have to say, and I feel like I can’t even begin to approach the league they are in.  I feel like I am playing pretend at being a parent when you put me beside one of them. They just know everything, and I can’t hope to have the knowledge even after 50 years of being a mother.”

-Read the rest of Never Good Enough

I feel sad that anyone should ever have to feel this way!  This is not the first blog post I’ve come across voicing these same painful concerns of women doubting their own worthiness to be mothers and wives.  If you read the rest of GrudgeMom’s article, you’ll find her concerns also about being a new mom with relatives that don’t support her parenting choices.  

One good thing about being a parent is that our kids know even less than we do!  They don’t know if we’re doing anything wrong, or if there’s a better or more efficient way to do something.  They only know that we are there for them, take care of them, and make everything okay.  We are their heroes and their role models, their monster-in-the-closet checkers and their boo-boo kissers. 

Having family members that constantly criticize your parenting methods or family choices does not help when you’re already struggling to adjust to your new role in life (as someone’s partner and someone’s parent).  We can NOT control what our extended families do, say, or think about us.  All we can do is realize that what they think is not our problem.

You and your husband are the ones that shape your family life.  You two make decisions together and learn together as you go along. 

It’s okay to ask others for advice when you want information.  As my friend Crystal Paine says, you can always turn to godly older women for advice on parenting and life.  This isn’t because they are better than us younger ladies, or smarter, or cooler, but because they learned in exactly the same way WE will learn – by years of experiencing it for themselves!

Keep in mind that when family members (even in-laws) are criticizing your parenting, they probably feel like they’re being helpful and that their way is the best way.  However, they’re really showing disrespect to both you and your husband, essentially saying that they don’t feel he can make good decisions for your family.  This simply isn’t true.  As a father, husband, and the head of your house, he has to learn as he goes along too. 

It’s normal to have questioning feelings every once in a while, but don’t let them stick around.  Fill your brain with these positive statements enough times that you start to believe them:

• I am a good parent who is learning more every day.
• I am a loving wife who is married to a wonderful man.
• My husband and I make good decisions for our family.
• My children love me and I love them.
• I am the best parent I can be.
• What I think and say is important.
• I am good enough!

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Life Tips for Women from Mary Kay Ash has great advice every week for moms, working moms, single moms, married women, and more. The book I’m quoting from is called Mary Kay by Mary Kay Ash, the founder of the legendary cosmetics company.  You can read more about the Life Tips for Women from Mary Kay Ash series.

Plan Your Days & Make Each One Count

“Have you ever had one of those Saturdays  when you got up in the morning and didn’t have a single thing planned for the day?  You drift from one thing to another, and by the end of the day you realize that you haven’t accomplished a thing.  You feel empty and depressed and frustrated; you’ve wasted a day you’ll never get a a chance to relive. 

Well, just as you drifted through an entire day, some people drift through a week, a month, a year – and even a lifetime.”

                                       -Mary Kay, p. 93

Can you relate? I certainly can.  How frustrating to feel like we trudge through our days and look back only to realize that we haven’t accomplished anything.  Even worse- do you feel like you didn’t accomplish anything that mattered? 

Make Your Top Priorities of the Day List

First thing in the morning, I find that making a list of your few most important things to do for the day can keep this from happening.  This list is like your map for the day, and no matter how many unexpected things pop up at the last minute, you can find a way to get your 3 or 4 items done and checked off.

The top priorities list isn’t only about productivity; it’s about accomplishment.  Looking at this list at the end of the day, you can see how you spent your time and feel good about doing what you set out to do. 

Keep the top priorities list short and sweet, and make sure that there aren’t only mundane tasks on the list.

Projects That Matter to Your Life

How many days do you spend any time working on a project that matters to your life?  Dishes and cooking may be everyday necessities, but are these tasks that change and shape the overall course of your life?  Probably not. 

Identify a project right now that is important to you and matters to the bigger picture in your life.  Are you an aspiring author? If so, add a task each day to spend just 10 minutes writing.  Are you a scrapbook lover who longs to preserve your family memories, but never has time to do the huge project of sorting all your photos from the last decade?  Start small and add a task to your priorities list to do one small part of your memory book each day.  Spend 10 short minutes printing out pictures from this week, or find a template to create 1 page for photos from yesterday. 

These small tasks don’t seem like much work and won’t take much time from your day, but planning your days with projects that matter to your life will make a huge difference to your life’s path in the big picture.

Love Your Life Challenge:  

• Identify a project that matters to your life.  Big or small, only choose one project to focus on for now.
• Find a small task you can do several times a week to work on this project.  10 minutes, 1 page, 1 chapter… however it is measured, start small.
• When you look back on your week, appreciate the time you planned and accomplished, and look at how it will change your life over time, week by week.
• Let us know in the comments below if you’re taking this challenge, and what your project is. 

Subscribe to our free updates now so that you don’t miss Life Tips from Mary Kay Ash next week!

For more Works for Me Wednesday, visit We are That Family and Homemaker Mondays.

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I read a very profound book when I was just a teenager that formed my thoughts on most of my business practices today.  It’s called Mary Kay by Mary Kay Ash, the founder of the legendary cosmetics company. 

Our new series is called Life Tips for Women from Mary Kay Ash, and will be a weekly ongoing series with great advice for moms, working moms, single moms, married women, you name it.

Throughout my adult life and my career, Mary Kay has been an inspiration to me because of her fierce determination, commitment to putting her family before work, and still being a successful leader who helped women the world over to change their lives for the better.  She’s in my top 5 list of mentors for my life, and has helped shape many of the policies at the Homemaker Barbi Blog Network & HB World Media.

Although Mary Kay Ash has written many books, this is the one which has stuck with me, which I’ve read over and over, which has upwards of 100 sticky notes hanging off the edges of the pages!  She built her company out of the sheer desire to give women homemakers the opportunities that didn’t exist in society at that time.  Her ideals of putting God and family first were sometimes laughed at by the business world, but developed into one of the most financially successful companies in the world (run by Mary Kay and her 2 sons!).

Her insights towards life as a mom – a working mom at that – and a single mom can teach us all a little something about how to make the little improvements in our own lives that will really bring us more time for our families, more victories, and more power to be able to accomplish our dreams.

I’m starting a new series here at Homemaker Barbi to showcase some of the best points from Mary Kay’s 1981 book, which is just as helpful today as it was then.    Since it’s a very old book, Mary Kay by Mary Kay Ash is available at Amazon for only a few dollars.  You can probably even find it at a bookstore in your town for the list price of $3.95!  If you’ll take my word on this book’s importance in my life, and if you’d like to follow along with this series by reading the book first, I strongly recommend that you spend the $4 and buy this book.  Subscribe to our free updates now so that you don’t miss the first installment next week!

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The other day I was going for a walk with my boys and I noticed a woman, about my age, chatting with a friend in her front yard. At 37, I’m no spring chicken, but when I digested what it was she was wearing and how she looked, I thought, gosh, I hope I never let myself look like that! Is that mean?

Listen, I’m not a fashionista, I like a bargain, but I appreciate style too. There is no reason why someone needs to let themselves go to the point of looking frumpy, dirty, dated and older than they should.

Hey, I’m not a size 4 anymore, and I accept this. It’s easy to let yourself fall into a slump when your trying to get into that ideal size again. It’s understandable why someone wouldn’t want to make an effort to update their wardrobe if they know they are losing weight…but you need to have enough respect for yourself to take care of yourself.

Here’s my theory. It’s a vicious circle. You feel fat, so you don’t buy new clothes. Then you look bad, so you feel miserable. Then you decide to have a snack to make yourself feel better. Oh and by the way, you skip working out because you’re too bummed because it’s not having any effect…so you still feel fat.

Break the cycle.

Go to Target or some store that offers trendier apparel at discount prices. Buy a few staples for the new season. A few tops, a couple of pants/shorts, and a dress or skirt. Definitely buy some shoes (no need to go cheap on these…feet don’t lose weight) and maybe a new purse too. H & M is a great place for what I call “disposable” clothes. After a season, they usually are ruined by stains or wear – so you can just get rid of them without the guilt associated with overspending.

Most importantly…buy your size. Buy clothes that fit, because even if they’re a size 14, you will always look better in your real size than if you try to squeeze your size 14 buns into a size 8. You’ll look like a muffin top/sausage…and that’s just not attractive no matter what.

Here’s the deal, you’ll feel better if you try my suggestions above. The funny thing is that when you feel better about yourself, you take better care of yourself. So, you might actually watch what you eat with a little ease and lose a few pounds to boot. Also, people will notice and give you positive reinforcement that in turn which make you feel even better.

One note, get rid of any granny panties and buy something cute as well as a proper fitting cute bra. You need to feel good about yourself all over. Good luck.  Renee

Sweatpants sign by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com. Fashion don’t models photo by I See Modern Britain.

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How to look beautiful is a fun subject for moms, especially when you can vamp up your looks without using lots of chemical filled beauty products on your hair and skin.

I’ve been on the lookout for a new natural hair conditioner treatment to try for some time, so I’m anxious to try a honey rinse recipe that they describe in the beauty tips article.

Here is one of the coolest natural beauty tips from the list- a natural way to whiten your teeth:

“Brighten your smile with strawberries & baking soda. First mash a fresh strawberry and add a tsp of baking soda. Spread on toothbrush & rub strawberry mash onto teeth. Leave for a couple minutes then brush teeth clean. Because the fruit is naturally acidic, don’t use this method more than once a week to protect your teeth from damage.” 

Read the rest of the article here: 12 Simple Beauty Hacks From The Kitchen    [Mommy Style]

Photo by BdwayDiva1.

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Mandee is holding their StyleStar contest, perfect for your teens (or yourself).  The winner not only gets a $250 shopping spree, but also wins a modeling photo shoot at Mandee this June. 

To Enter:

You simply model your favorite Mandee outfit, and have someone snap a few photos of you.  Submit your photo by email at stylestar(at)Mandee.com, along with a description of how much your outfit cost and why you think it’s the best. 

Hurry to enter, because this contest ends tomorrow, 5/15/09.  Get more details at Mandee.com.

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